Why Reading More Self Help Books Won't Bring You Success

Why Reading More Self Help Books Won't Bring You Success 

Are you a self help junkie? Do you buy and read hundreds of self help books? Do you own dozens of motivational CDs? Are you still seeking the elusive success that has been promised to you?

Is going into debt for self help a good investment?

I have met people who do; people who think that the more expensive a seminar, the greater value they will get from it. Some of these people have even gone into debt so they can 'invest in themselves'. While I heartily agree that personal development and growth is the most valuable thing you can do with your time, I'm not sure that reading another self help book is always the way to do it.

Don't get me wrong, I think self help books are wonderful. I own a few dozen myself. I avidly read (and even summarise) them. They nearly always have a few precious gems you can use in your own life.

Is there a quick fix?

I have always been an observer of human behaviour and there is one behaviour trait I have noticed in recent years that is helping to fuel the massive growth of the self help industry. What trait is that? It is the desire to have a quick fix; to take a pill (or equivalent) and have our troubles go away. Rather than changing our lifestyle or our thinking, we would rather ask for an aid that required no effort on our part to fix our troubles. We can pay a lot of money for these quick fixes so that we avoid doing the hard yards of internal awareness and insight and the pain they can bring.

Where self help books offer value

And they are valuable in one very important area of personal development... they can change your mindset. They can help you to find a better way to see, think, feel and be. These are very valuable insights to have. I question whether, on their own, they are sufficient to bring about success.

I will give you an example. Although I have both Commerce and Law degrees to my name, I found that there were many gaps in my knowledge when I began running my own business. To fill these gaps I read book after book on how to successfully run a business and make money. They were probably all great books, but none of them ever answered the questions I had. They might tell me how to generically write the copy for an advertisement, but not how to write it specifically for my business. They might tell me the things to look for when hiring people, but never the specific things I would need to look for in my industry. They might tell me how to get finance for my business, but never the inside knowledge that would make my bank view my application more favourably.

What you are going to have to do to experience success...

If self help and other books didn't give me the answers that enabled my success, what did?

There were four things that eventually brought success into my life as a business woman:


1.The realization that the only person who could do it WAS ME. No-one else was going to be able to achieve my success for me. There was no magic pill I could take, no book I could read, no course I could attend that would bring about the changes inside me that would be required. The only person who could do that was me.

 2.Realizing it was TAKING ACTION that would lead to experience and then to knowledge. Sitting and reading wasn't going to get me the answers I needed. I have taken lots and lots of action. I have succeeded as often as I have failed. And of both the successes and the failures along the way... I learned a lot more from the failures then I did from the successes. The failures showed me what not to do next time, what not to say, what not to pay for... so that next time I was wiser about how I did it.

 3.NEVER GIVING UP. On my journey to success I have what I now call 'flexible commitment'. I am very committed to achieving the outcomes I set myself... but I do it in a very flexible way. If what I am doing isn't working, then I am now flexible enough to try doing it a different way. I am also flexible enough to wait until the time is right and then pounce with my new idea. I stay true to the targets I set myself, but I go about achieving them in a less rigid and more flexible way than I did previously. If bashing my head against the wall isn't working, then I start looking for a door.

 4.Having an EXCELLENCE BUDDY. I found myself a mentor who I have regular conversations with. The excellent thing about my mentor is that I mentor them in return. We call ourselves 'excellence buddies' and we hold each other to a higher standard than we would if we were operating on our own. We bounce ideas off each other and hold each other accountable for achieving the targets we set out to achieve. Knowing that she is going to ring me at the end of the week and see how I am going is sometimes the greatest motivation in the world to get the job done.


Is there any value in self help books and self help courses?

Absolutely! There is still value in self help books and self help courses. However, they are not the total solution to any challenge you have. The final key in the solution has to come from you, from a desire inside you to make change and take the action needed.

I still attend personal development programs. In fact I run them myself and I love them.

I am never too arrogant to believe that I know it all and there is nothing someone else can teach me. There is always a new insight to be gained, a quicker way to get a self understanding or a new perspective on an issue.

But both when I run personal development seminars for others (and when I attend them myself) I am very aware that you will need to take action after you leave the seminar to fully incorporate the changes into your life. I know that I need to walk out of the course and take action if I wish to achieve success.

In summary I guess I am saying, that unless you are prepared to take the actions necessary to make change in your life, then save your money and stop going to self help courses and reading self help books.

If, however, you are prepared to take the action needed, then self help books and self help courses are an incredible way to get the skills, insights and motivation you need to really get your life moving towards success and reaching your potential.