The Importance of Self-Confidence When Approaching Women
I recently wanted to become part of a gym, and so I visited one
of those that feature free pass offers. I had a good enough time and I
even recommended the gym to some friends I knew. However, my visit was
not an exceptional one either. After my free pass was over and it was
time for me to go, one of the gym's salespersons predictably walked up
to me for a brief conversation, no doubt to convince me that I should
become a permanent member of their gym.
We had a nice chat. The first topics were mostly about simple matters, like my opinion of their gym, how often I worked out and my own efforts at weight loss. They were simple topics meant to break the ice, so to speak. Naturally, after we had enough chit chat, she came straight to the point and asked me if I would like to sign up for their monthly membership. I saw that offer coming a mile away and it didn't really bother me. I really did want to sign up.
However, what really made the conversation interesting for me was not the conversation itself, but the salesperson talking to me. The girl, I noticed, was pretty, a feature which probably helped her get her present job. Despite this though, she was quite nervous, apologetic and even uncomfortable while we were having our conversation. I didn't know if she was new to her job or if I just seemed a little intimidating to her, but her discomfort was certainly obvious to me.
This little exchange however, brought up another interesting thought to me. For the first time, I experienced what it felt like to be a woman who was approached by a man who was unsure of himself. The girl I was talking to was clumsily trying to convince me in a not-so-subtle way to become a monthly member of the gym, and the only thing she managed to do was amuse me.
In my mind, I made a similar comparison with a guy who was clumsily chatting up a girl he liked. The girl he's talking to will probably feel amusement, annoyance or perhaps even pity at having to listen to him. Even if a girl is interested, the fact that the guy who's talking to her is not sure of himself can be a real turn off. This applies to all things, not only to relationships and business deals.
Faltering courage is often interpreted as deception, weakness or ignorance. In the context of attracting the opposite sex, indecision and awkwardness can be extremely damaging. They can reduce the guy's chances of getting a girl interested, which in turn leads to rejection, which then leads to further feelings of inadequacy, which then leads to more feelings of awkwardness, and which finally leads to more rejections.
It's really a vicious cycle. So remember that if you want to approach someone, be confident about it. If you're unsure about yourself then she will not be sure about you either.
We had a nice chat. The first topics were mostly about simple matters, like my opinion of their gym, how often I worked out and my own efforts at weight loss. They were simple topics meant to break the ice, so to speak. Naturally, after we had enough chit chat, she came straight to the point and asked me if I would like to sign up for their monthly membership. I saw that offer coming a mile away and it didn't really bother me. I really did want to sign up.
However, what really made the conversation interesting for me was not the conversation itself, but the salesperson talking to me. The girl, I noticed, was pretty, a feature which probably helped her get her present job. Despite this though, she was quite nervous, apologetic and even uncomfortable while we were having our conversation. I didn't know if she was new to her job or if I just seemed a little intimidating to her, but her discomfort was certainly obvious to me.
This little exchange however, brought up another interesting thought to me. For the first time, I experienced what it felt like to be a woman who was approached by a man who was unsure of himself. The girl I was talking to was clumsily trying to convince me in a not-so-subtle way to become a monthly member of the gym, and the only thing she managed to do was amuse me.
In my mind, I made a similar comparison with a guy who was clumsily chatting up a girl he liked. The girl he's talking to will probably feel amusement, annoyance or perhaps even pity at having to listen to him. Even if a girl is interested, the fact that the guy who's talking to her is not sure of himself can be a real turn off. This applies to all things, not only to relationships and business deals.
Faltering courage is often interpreted as deception, weakness or ignorance. In the context of attracting the opposite sex, indecision and awkwardness can be extremely damaging. They can reduce the guy's chances of getting a girl interested, which in turn leads to rejection, which then leads to further feelings of inadequacy, which then leads to more feelings of awkwardness, and which finally leads to more rejections.
It's really a vicious cycle. So remember that if you want to approach someone, be confident about it. If you're unsure about yourself then she will not be sure about you either.
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