Leaning In to Your Ideal Life and Career
All the recent buzz over Sheryl Sandberg's new book Lean In has me reflecting on the career choices I have made.
I can trace many of my decisions back to a time when I was rather young and a male boss actually said to me, "Elana, you are going to have to remember your place in this world as a woman."
Looking back, I can see the many ways those words influenced the path I subsequently took: choosing to minor in Women's Studies for my undergraduate degree; framing my master's thesis around theories of feminist development and identity; making gender and identity central to my teaching.
I'm pretty sure that my decision to seek my place in the world in this way wasn't exactly what my former boss had in mind.
Despite my refusal to let my gender limit me, I have to acknowledge that, in a male dominated world, removing gender from the equation isn't always easy. In spite of my resolve to not let my gender limit me, I can readily recall certain decisions I've made out of fear that being female would make other options too dangerous for me.
Today, I understand how important it is to examine the source of our fears. To be sure, fear is a perfectly legitimate feeling. But some of our fears are simply not based in reality.
To let our fears go unexamined is to risk falling into the trap of only believing those things that society would like us to believe.
Sandberg's book, and all of the buzz that it has received, reminds us that our society worships one definition of success, the one that Sandberg has achieved.
But the courage to live the life of your dreams will only come from deciding for yourself what success really means.
Take Action
Spend some time writing a personal definition of success. What steps do you need to take to achieve your vision of success? Notice the feelings that arise as you contemplate taking action? Are these feelings preventing you from living the life of your dreams?
Imagine yourself overcoming all of these fears. How does this change your vision of who you are and what you can be?
One Final Note
Not all of your fears will be immediately obvious to your conscious mind. But the pursuit of your dreams will always lead you to a new perspective from which you will be able to learn new things. This can make life very fulfilling.
I can trace many of my decisions back to a time when I was rather young and a male boss actually said to me, "Elana, you are going to have to remember your place in this world as a woman."
Looking back, I can see the many ways those words influenced the path I subsequently took: choosing to minor in Women's Studies for my undergraduate degree; framing my master's thesis around theories of feminist development and identity; making gender and identity central to my teaching.
I'm pretty sure that my decision to seek my place in the world in this way wasn't exactly what my former boss had in mind.
Despite my refusal to let my gender limit me, I have to acknowledge that, in a male dominated world, removing gender from the equation isn't always easy. In spite of my resolve to not let my gender limit me, I can readily recall certain decisions I've made out of fear that being female would make other options too dangerous for me.
Today, I understand how important it is to examine the source of our fears. To be sure, fear is a perfectly legitimate feeling. But some of our fears are simply not based in reality.
To let our fears go unexamined is to risk falling into the trap of only believing those things that society would like us to believe.
Sandberg's book, and all of the buzz that it has received, reminds us that our society worships one definition of success, the one that Sandberg has achieved.
But the courage to live the life of your dreams will only come from deciding for yourself what success really means.
Take Action
Spend some time writing a personal definition of success. What steps do you need to take to achieve your vision of success? Notice the feelings that arise as you contemplate taking action? Are these feelings preventing you from living the life of your dreams?
Imagine yourself overcoming all of these fears. How does this change your vision of who you are and what you can be?
One Final Note
Not all of your fears will be immediately obvious to your conscious mind. But the pursuit of your dreams will always lead you to a new perspective from which you will be able to learn new things. This can make life very fulfilling.
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